TO WRITE LOVE ON HER ARMS.. my experiences with depression..
August 14, 2011 Category: Uncategorized 3 Comments 
Hi folks,
Im frantically printing passport renewal forms, as my trusty kiwi passorts is due to expire while Im on NZ tour in Sept! But thought Id take some time to write a new blog about something close to my heart..Theres a bit of a story about our next gig I feel the need to share..
This is a very special event being held on Wed Aug 17. TO WRITE LOVE ON HER ARMS..Its a charity awareness / fundraiser for depression & suicide intervention organisation. It is a result of a community who gathered around a suicidal drug addict who cut the words “fuck up” in her arms..they decided to put faith into action.. visit www.twloha.com
We’ve all hit a rough patch from time to time..we go thru seasons in life where we question “what am I doing? am I on the right track? etc.. I know personally, last year I hit some very deep valleys, and really struggled to make sense of it all. Combination of several things lead me into a bad space, and I thought I was the happy guy who always had it together.. I was wrong.. it felt like I was in the middle of a deep fog, and didn’t know where to go.. even had to see a doc and was diagnosed with “Severe Depression” .. it was very scary, and I thank God for my true friends & family who stuck by me, and gave me the time I needed to un scramble all these horrible feelings that were swirling around.. I couldn’t even play the guitar for 2 months and thought Id never write a song again..and that was devastating.
For some ppl depression becomes over whelming, they may lack the support I had, or family who understands and we want to help share this message that there is hope, and ppl willing to help. Great websites like www.twloha.com or www.beyondblue.org.au are really helpfull.
If you know of someone whos struggling with this.. please listen to them, make them feel valued, and if in Melbourne, bring them to our event..Id be happy to sit with with them and chat..
Thanks for reading..
Hi Bryce
Great that you are talking about your experience and have such a support system around you. So glad you have come through….We are not usually good at sharing the negative times in our lives it is so much nicer to discuss the highlights, but the valleys are where God meets is and the great revelations and changes happen.
I have had many such troughs in my life which I wouldn’t change as the growth was definitely character building…I also recently went through a series of disappointment’s on top of the actual earthquakes, broken ankle, house hopping, shifting etc. The let downs came from where I least expected and family were not close enough to help and those who were, were the biggest shock.
God knows our needs & his promise is that he never leaves us nor forsakes us and sometimes we need to make a change as I did. I am always there to assist and love to encourage others in all directions, but I needed to recognize that it is OK to ask for help for myself. I lived alone, running a business from home, broke the ankle checking on neighbors which did not seem fair, so with chimneys caving in and inability to get to safety, it was not safe to stay. When I did turn to my pastor I had many of Gods helpers from the City Church in Manchester Street assisting me to shift house. (This took 3-4 weeks to achieve so no mean feat)
After living in the same house for 11 years I found myself having trouble even finding another house after Feb 22nd Earthquake. With my van packed to the hilt even in the passenger seat I sat in my driveway for some time then actually contemplated how easy it would be to put a hose in the van and not have another worry.
My neighbor who never really bothered to befriend me stopped outside looking in my direction for some time and then carried on. The devil attracted my attention at my lowest place. I looked around and saw that there was no way that would even work. Of course as a christian this is unacceptable, so I was obviously in a bit of a quandary so sat looking into space.
Thankfully my next thought was a positive action & a reminder of a friend who is in Real estate came to mind and I called her from my seat in the van. “Yes” she had something for me to look at only short term but that was better than nothing, so jolted me from this negative space. The Pastor informed me of the house which I took also only 6 months, so have another shift in October, but grateful to be out of that awful space. On the lookout again as it will come around fast luckily this time will be easier.
The scary part was having such thoughts at all, our minds need to have good material to draw from so I am grateful also that having been bought up as a child in a Christian environment, going back to it later in life, knowing that God loves me & has saved me both from myself and my life is very comforting indeed.
Something to be said for programming the mind with “positive mental attitude material” of any sort having been an avid reader of such material.
The sad thing is that if I could feel this way, then for those who do not have any value system at all, or the positive attitude materials may be falling through the cracks.
Music is a great way to reach people Bryce so keep up the good work. Out of the negative experience God shows us a new dimension in his love and compassion to pass on others.
Bryce I am sure your song writing will have an added dimension as a result…God Bless You
Hey Bryce far out man so that’s what you were going thru last year when you were around! Man, I admire your courage and faith to step out of the dark into the unknown. I have had a CONTINUAL struggle with depression throughout the course of my life, and am still going thru my own ‘cleansing’ as it were with help from God and assistance from ones close by. Yet I have been able to stand in front of crowds of people and perform my music……without telling everyone everything I’m going thru. Just played at the Famous Spiegeltent for first time the other night here in NP for the Arts festival with Singer Songwriters, only to have a real tough day the next day. The buzz of being a successful artist, does not compensate for the lows of reality and the grind of heavy emotions and a weighed down spirit. I appreciate that you’ve shared this Bryce. Look forward to catching you in Septembet bro
Thankyou to everyone who has commented. I feel honoured that you shared your journey with us. There is ALWAYS hope, and I wrote the song “Shades of Blue” about a season of depression that sucked me in.. before I realised what it was.. have a listen on the site.. listen to the lyrics. Remind me to tell you the story what happened sometime…